Generosity & Happiness
The relationship between money and happiness isn’t a new topic for this blog and its readers. We’ve discussed before the relationship between happiness, money, and memory and, in particular, our inability to predict what will make us happy because of the fragility of memory. We’ve explored the peculiar power of our cultural narrative that having more stuff makes us happy when, in fact, what we need and want so much more than “more stuff” is time enjoy what we have. And we’ve seen how money can, in fact, make you happy when you spend it on others.
In this vein, I recently came across a brilliant little video that summarizes a lot of this – particularly on the power of giving to others – in just under 3 minutes. So while the information isn’t totally new to us, it’s presented in a fresh, lively, and succinct way.
But it also got me to thinking. If all this stuff about the power of giving money away is true – and we know that by our faith tradition, experience, and research – why do we keep talking about it in terms of money? I mean, aren’t we really just talking about generosity? Except when it comes to generosity, we’re never talking about “just generosity” because one of the fundamental tenets of the Christian faith is that we were made for each other.
Perhaps the profound assertion in Genesis that “it is not good for ‘the man’ to be alone” (2:18) doesn’t refer only – or even primarily – to marriage. Interestingly, the Hebrew word translated “the man” (adam) at this point isn’t used yet as a name – Adam – or to denote “maleness” particularly, but rather describes “the one made from the earth.” So we might read this as, “It is not good for one who is mortal and made of earth to be alone.” Or, put most simply, we were made for each other.
Which means that when we are generous we are being who we were made to be. No wonder, then, that generosity makes us happy. And because this is true, we can – and should! – broaden the conversation about happiness way beyond money. We can also increase our happiness by being who we are called to be by giving our time, our help, our gifts, our support, our encouragement, and more. Perhaps, then, generosity is simply seeing other as deserving – of our time, our interest, our love, of all that we have and are. That certainly includes money, but isn’t limited by it.
Broadening the conversation matters, I think, for three important reasons. First, when we restrict generosity to money, we give the impression that only the wealthy can be truly generous, which we know isn’t true but can seem that way, especially to those with little money to give. Second, by stretching our view of generosity we help to combat the very obsession with money that our culture encourages. Generosity is bigger than money…and so are we. Third, by including all kinds of other gestures as generous, we greatly expand our opportunities to practice generosity.
Generosity, like any other behavior, becomes easier with practice. And when we live in a culture that glorifies individual success and possessions, we need all the practice we can get. This is important to keep in mind when it comes to children – who can learn the habits of generosity and the joy of living generously – well before they have any money. But it is also both true and important for us at any time in our lives. I don’t know if there is research out there yet that proves this, but I’d be willing to bet a fair amount that when we act generously with our time and talents we are more likely to be generous with our wealth as well.
So take three minutes and watch the video, think about changing the way we speak – shifting from talking about “money and happiness” to “generosity and happiness” – and share with our growing cyber-community (3500 subscribers strong!) in the comments below any ideas you have about practicing generosity.
And in the meantime, do something generous today – you’ll be amazed (or maybe not!) at just how happy it makes you.
Notes: 1) If you are receiving this post by email, you may need to click here to watch the video.
2) Thanks to Brainpickings for highlighting this video.
Two things we’ve done in the recent past: First, we held a contest for folks who were using electronic fund transfers- signed up or increased if already giving and you were entered to win $100. The catch- simply spend it in a way that is generous to others or give it to a charity, then tell us about it so that we can share the story. Easy way to embrace some simple generosity.
This past week at our mid-week worship, we handed out gold stars w/ cards that said “Great job! Someone noticed you making the world a better place. Keep it up!” Tying into the epiphany account, we asked folks to look for those people who were being generous with God’s love in simple ways, and then to go and recognize it by giving them a gold star and a card.
I mean, who wouldn’t want a kid or someone to walk up and give you a gold star because of something you did? Also, it helps us realize that God’s love and God’s hands are all around us, if we stop to take the time and look. Great video as always, thanks DJL!
Generosity of spirit!
In my last congregation we spent a lot of time talking about the 3 B’s of church Believing, Behaving, Belonging. When we start to believe in (trust) God, we start to recognize how radically generous God is. When we experience this radical generosity how should we respond? We think it’s with gratitude – radical gratitude.
If we experience this gratitude what should our response be in terms of Behaviour? This is where these thoughts and your column today meet. We must behave with generosity. While it means being generous with our time, talents and treasures, it also means being generous to the needs of others. Thinking about the needs of others.
In a Christian community this could mean being willing to allow other’s to experience worship etc. in a way that may not be our personal choice. Without grumbling. Perhaps it means letting a new group of people help decorate the worship space in new ways. Perhaps it means allowing children a little more leeway – or for parents to recognize the need of other people in the community to have some quiet times.
When we act with generosity to others in the community we all gain a greater sense of the third B, Belonging.
As our community grows in generous behaviour and in experiencing a place where we belong (just as we are) our faith in God’s grace and generosity grows.
David, I am thankful for your generosity of time, knowledge, thinking, research and writing. I pray that all of us can see generosity far more broadly than a dollars and sense issue.
Good thoughts! Somewhere along the line it hit me that tithing was never meant to be a cut and dried thing but rather, a way of life. It changed the way I saw giving, really, when I realized that simple everyday things like handing fresh tomatoes from the garden over the fence to a neighbor, picking up some items at the store for an elderly person, making soup for someone who was ill, and so on all are part of “giving a tithe” of your blessings. In the midst of it all, the phrase loses the less important word “tithe” and keeps the most important word “giving.” Knocking it down to percentages diminishes the gift and the act of giving itself, and I am reminded of the contrast between the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and precious perfume versus the oh-so righteous Pharisees carefully doling out the exact measurements of cumin and other herbs to give in order to be “acceptable.”
Some people in my church wanted to have a flea market to raise money. I said no. But, I said, I don’t mind if you have a “free market”. That is, you bring in items that have value to you, you set them on the table, and then you walk away, knowing that someone may need that item and appreciate it. Also, if there is something you see you need, take it. I felt it was a way to encourage people to ‘give’ without any expectation of getting something in return.
The ‘free marked’ has turned out to be very popular. People feel good giving away their valued items.
Regarding generosity there were two things taught to me both of equal importance but one not mentioned, so here goes.
1. It is better to give than receive.
2. Be a gracious receiver.
Being a gracious receiver seems also to be a hard thing for Christians to do, especially when they feel content in and with the way life is for them. However, this thought does not take into consideration what you may be withholding from the giver, a chance for their happiness too.
I don’t see how you may have one without the other.