Matthew 18:15-20
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
This is hard stuff. Not so much or simply what Jesus says here, but the reality Jesus’ words describes. It’s really, really hard when people who care about each other feel harmed or injured by each other. It happens at work; it happens at school; it happens at home; and it happens at church. And it’s always hard.
We can gather that this is one of the things happening in Matthew’s church. As we’ve noticed at several points in our journey through the gospels, the evangelists weren’t newspaper reporters or historians, they were pastoral leaders, helping their community make sense of their lives in light of the story of Jesus and to make sense of the stories of Jesus they had heard in light of their lives. Which means that of all the stories of Jesus the evangelists knew about, they each not only included the major stories that all the evangelists worked with but also chose specific ones that seemed to relate to their particular community’s situation and needs. And so we can surmise that Matthew, and Matthew only, includes this part of Jesus’ story perhaps because his community was struggling with this kind of situation.
The question becomes, then, how do we relate this to our situation and circumstances? In answering this question, I think keeping in mind three things are important.
First, the overarching goal of these instructions is to heal the ruptured relationship and restore the one who is sinning to the community. It’s not about punishment or retaliation or settling scores or gaining power or righting past wrongs. It’s about healing and restoration.
Second, that kind of healing and restoration is best done person to person and in and with the community. This isn’t done by letter (or email or text, our 21st century equivalents) but in person. Further, when a first approach doesn’t work, we are invited to try again and to draw in other members of the community. It sometimes helps to have other eyes and ears in the room when we’re talking about difficult tings. But you don’t quit when it gets difficult, and we don’t move immediately to legal recourse, but rather engage the community, even the whole community if necessary.
Third, it doesn’t always work. Sometimes even the best efforts to repair relationships or to point out where a colleague or friend is struggling or failing fall short. That’s a tragedy. And it can lead to a severing of relationships.
Beyond all that, one more thing to keep in mind: this isn’t a formula, much less a recipe. It’s an attempt by Matthew’s community to address a difficult and complicated situation with their memories of Jesus and his teaching. But even as Matthew shares this part of Jesus’ story, I think it’s also interesting that he references Gentiles and tax collectors. Jesus says here that those who finally cannot be drawn back into the community are to be treated as Gentiles and tax collectors. And while we assume this means they are to be expelled or shunned, let’s keep in mind that these folks – Gentiles and tax collectors – are precisely some of the ones lifted up in Matthew’s story as those who responded to Jesus and his message most enthusiastically and were invited into the kingdom of God by Jesus himself.
Just sayin’….
Prayer: Dear God, you know how difficult and damaging conflict and sin can be. No matter how difficult the circumstances, help us to treat each other as persons deserving of respect and do all that we can to restore and repair broken relationships. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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