What Do We Talk About At Church?
Yesterday I posted a video about the devastating effect media messages about beauty can have on all of us, but particularly our youth. Part of the challenge, as I suggested yesterday, is that our kids are so media-saturated – far more than they are media-savvy – that it’s difficult to provide a filter. Which means that we need to counter the voices of the culture that regularly seek to make them feel inadequate with messages about their inherent worth and dignity.
And this, when you think of it for even a few seconds, is something that should come naturally to us. We proclaim, after all, that we and all people are children of God, named in the waters of Baptism as holy and righteous and blessed and beautiful in the sight of the Lord.
But do we communicate this? Of course in the absolution or preaching we announce it, but do we take time to talk about the implications of our theology for our daily lives? In this instance, do we remind our youth of how much God loves them and how much we love them? More than that, do we gather their parents and elders to talk about how we can support our youth in a complex, internet-dominated age?
And while we’re on it, do we talk about other things that are incredibly important to our everyday lives and about which we should have something to say? Do we talk about meaning and purpose in light of vocation, and then make room for conversation about how many people don’t feel called to their work, or don’t have work they enjoy, and or don’t have work at all, and how hard that can be? Do we talk about how challenging it can be to have family members suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s, reminding each other that God remembers us even when we cannot remember God and allowing for conversation about how important that affirmation can seem sometimes and how empty it can feel at others? And what about the challenges of being married and raising a family in a helter-skelter world that is absent any sense of Sabbath? Or being single in a world where more and more people are single even as most congregations are set up for the (less and less) typical “married-with-children” types?
In short, beyond the hit-and-miss conversations around coffee hour, do we talk about any of the things that really matter to us in church? And if we don’t, what do we talk about? Budgets, who’s going to teach Sunday school, carpet color, what?
Further, if we’re not talking about those things that most matter to us in light of our faith at church, what are the odds that we’re thinking about these things from the perspective of faith at home? And why, over time, would we expect anyone to keep coming to a place that seems so often totally removed from our everyday lives and concerns.
As director of the Vibrant Congregations Project at Luther Seminary, I was struck by one of the findings of our research that indicated through both survey and interview how deeply people want to be able to connect their faith and their daily life. In particular, they want their faith to be relevant, even useful to them. They want to understand how their faith applies to their everyday lives. Not in the sense of having the preacher tell them how to vote, but rather in the sense of wanting to know how these stories from the Bible shed light on what it means to live full and meaningful lives in a very busy, very confusing culture where lots of other people and groups would be glad to answer these questions for us.
It’s not that I don’t think we want to talk about this in church. It’s just that we do. It’s rarely, that is, that I rarely hear in sermons – my own included – let alone in worship much about what touches on my daily life. The needs of the church – yes; the needs of the world – yes, again. But the questions I wrestle with about being a good parent, or shielding my kids from negative cultural messages, or having hard but respectful conversations with others, or thinking through the ethical decisions we face at work, or the problem of bullying at school… not so much. Again, it’s not that I’m looking for congregational leaders to answer my questions. We are the experts on our own lives. It’s more that I want congregational leaders to make space for these conversations so that we can take up what’s important to us and discuss it in light of our shared faith.
I know we’re trying to do this. But I’m not sure we know how. So if you have suggestions about things you seen or heard or done at your congregation to help us make that elusive Sunday-Monday connect, I’d love to hear.
David, we are engaged in an exciting initiative at my congregation, which we are calling our “Year of Transformation.” This will be a series of 3 six-week sessions for small groups centered on faith development and growth toward loving Jesus and loving others more, supported by DVD teachings by our pastors and testimony from congregation members. Even the printed participant guides are personalized to our church body. (I will send you a copy of the first sessions materials.) I’ll let you know how things develop over the year. Your friend and brother in Christ, Dave
A few weeks ago, I preached about how much God loves each of us just as we are. A couple from my parish brought two of their teenage foster children to church for first time. Teenage boy told foster mom, that this was first time he had every heard that God loves him as he is, that he doesn’t have to be “perfect” to be loved. Blew me away. I really appreciate all that you do; I enjoy being challenged by your questions. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your posts regarding this particular intersection.
These last two posts have really made me thankful for the confirmation program that I am a part of. We meet together three/four times a year with additional area congregations for Parent/Teen nights where we’ve discussed topics like priorities, technology & safety, bullying, healthy relationships, awkward family conversations, and more.
In these types of situations, it has always been incredibly humbling to see the depth and power that a community has when it comes together to learn, discuss, and address the real-life issues. Yes, many times there are theological underpinnings that we’ve talked about leading up to such a night, but to take the theological and embody it in the physical and emotional has provided a richness beyond anything we could teach.
I have to say, however, that I was caught up with the sense of ‘church’ as ‘place’ in your post. Probably unintentionally it seemed to me that church is that place we go to, the location rather than the people we are, the gathering of brothers and sisters.
I think the church as community and family is a vital aspect to proclaim and grab onto and hold onto for dear life, literally, in times like this, because unless we view what ‘church’ defines as something beyond the one or two-hour visitation to a building once a week or as schedules allow, we too easily distance ourselves from the God who came to us and walks with us in life, not just when we gather in a place for worship. We too have to take the concept of what ‘church’ is and embody it in the flesh and blood people, not just the brick and mortar, no?
Thank you again for your great and challenging posts, we are all richer for them!
If we are sent in peace to share the good news of God in Christ, we would be well-served to remember our sense of connected-ness to each other, rather than a specific location.
Greetings!
What a wonderful thought, this is truly something near and dear to my heart. Bringing the gospel and the living Word into relevance within daily living. I am truly hoping to hear from many communities of faith about this topic.
At the community of faith to which I am called we try a few things that I will “lift up” for others. Every day we send out via email either a prayer or a pastoral reflection. We also make “hard copies” for distribution on Sunday for our sisters and brothers who do not have access to internet. This seems to truly strike a chord with folks as they are able to see God’s presence in the “normality” of life.
Each Thursday we gather at 10AM and 6:30PM for a study of the Scripture that is assigned for the coming Sundays. At these gatherings we have approximately 30-35 people. This setting allows for wonderful and practical discussion on Scripture and aids me in helping to discern what God is calling me to share on a Sunday!
I honestly believe that a great number of people in the world are absolutely hungry for the Word, we as Christ’s body here on earth simply need to find better, more creative ways to make access easier.
I look forward to hearing from others on this topic. As always I thank you for your continued ministry among us!
Peace and blessings
Jerry
In our congregation we have started using a lot of creative prayer time and reflection. We’ve used some prompting but have mainly allowed people the space to do their own connecting of the dots (between the Word and their lives.) It has been a neat process of watching worship become a little more vulnerable and our praise become a little more genuine.