23. Mark 14:66-72
While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant-girls of the high priest came by. When she saw Peter warming himself, she stared at him and said, “You also were with Jesus, the man from Nazareth.” But he denied it, saying, “I do not know or understand what you are talking about.” And he went out into the forecourt. Then the cock crowed. And the servant-girl, on seeing him, began again to say to the bystanders, “This man is one of them.” But again he denied it. Then after a little while the bystanders again said to Peter, “Certainly you are one of them; for you are a Galilean.” But he began to curse, and he swore an oath, “I do not know this man you are talking about.” At that moment the cock crowed for the second time. Then Peter remembered that Jesus had said to him, “Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.” And he broke down and wept.
This is the one that had to hurt. Judas we can understand. Disillusioned that the Messiah for whom he had waited so long was talking about his own death, we can imagine Judas in despair betraying his teacher. But Peter? Peter is one of Jesus’ closest confidants, comrades, friends. He was one of the first to follow Jesus, confessed his Godly identity and mission, went with him to both the mount of transfiguration and the garden of blood, sweat, and tears. More than that, he had promised to stay with him: “Even though all become deserters, I will not!” (14:29).
Jesus, of course, knew better. At the moment of Peter’s profession of stalwart faithfulness, Jesus predicts his denial. But it still had to hurt. Knowing someone you love will disappoint you doesn’t make that disappointment any easier.
So what went wrong? We can’t know for sure, but we can imagine.
The night was momentous, dramatic, even terrifying – from the intimacy of the Passover meal with its dire warnings and accusations to the riotous events in the garden, Peter has experienced almost every emotion known. And now he is here, following after his Lord, perhaps intending to come to his aid at an opportune moment. But before he can make up his mind about what to do he is cornered, exposed, named for being a companion of Jesus.
Maybe at first it was just the shock of being found out. He does not have the chance to declare himself, but instead is called out. And in shock and fear he denies it. He moves away, perhaps to regroup, hardly hearing the warning of the cock’s crow. And before he knows it he is assailed again. He again denies and tries to retreat. But it’s too late – he’s caught the attention of the crowd. He feels cornered, and there’s no way out. And so this time he doesn’t just deny his Lord but curses him and anyone who might try to pin him to Jesus.
And then the cock crows again, and it all comes back. His profession of love, faith, and courage; his Lord’s prediction; his foul and cowardly denial. And he weeps, broken hearted over his condition, for there are few worse things than realizing that you are just as bad as you’d feared. And so he weeps, hoping to leach all the misery and anguish of his soul out through those far too small tear ducts.
However you imagine what happened to Peter that night, you can’t help but be taken in by that vivid, dramatic scene. And I think that’s Mark’s point. Many have suggested, you see, that Mark was writing to a group of Christians that had suffered greatly and had lost a number of their company to desertion. These folks, scholars suggest, may know be coming back to Mark’s community and there is intense debate about whether to readmit them. After all, what can be worse than denying your faith, even if it’s under duress.
I think in this scene we find Mark’s answer. Worse than denying your faith? How ‘bout denying your Lord? In other words: think your sin is bad? I’ve seen worse. Think you’re not good enough? Think you don’t serve a place in the Lord’s body? Then consider Peter – look at his anguish and denial and tell me you’ve done worse. If he is one of Jesus disciples, Marks wants to say, then you can be, too. All of you. All of us.
Prayer: Dear God, you have from the beginning of the biblical story chosen the most unlikely persons to serve you – thieves, murderers, scoundrels, ne’er-do-wells, deniers, and more. Remind us always that whatever we have done or has been done to us, yet you call us as well, forgiving us, strengthening us, sending us to the world you love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Post image: “Before the Cock Crows” by Brian Whelen
Thank you for your insightful reflections on the Gospels and Jesus’ ministry. I think most of us can relate to Peter, at least I know I can…We are studying, “Making Sense of the Cross” at church and were pointed to your lenten devotions. We appreciate the opportunities your writing gives us to grow in our faith each day.