John 18:17-18
The woman said to Peter, ‘You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you?’ He said, ‘I am not.’ Now the slaves and the police had made a charcoal fire because it was cold, and they were standing round it and warming themselves. Peter also was standing with them and warming himself.
The charcoal fire will come back later in John’s story and remind us of this moment. For now, though, it serves only as a place of relative warmth and comfort on a chilly evening. And so the servants of the high priest and some of the police are warming themselves by it. And with them is Peter.
Which is curious, when you think about it. Presumably Peter followed Jesus in order to know what would happen to his Lord, perhaps even to try to protect him. But here he remains, warming himself by the fire. Perhaps he could not go inside. Perhaps he assumed Jesus would be brought out again. Perhaps he is just really, really cold.
Or perhaps he is already regretting his hasty decision to follow Jesus to this dangerous place. Perhaps he is wondering what in the world he was thinking. For if Jesus has been arrested and taken away to trial, might not any of his disciples similarly be arrested.
That seems, at least, to be his thought when a woman asks him if he was one of Jesus’ disciples. In response, Peter, who earlier had told his Lord that he would lay his life down for him, now denies that he even knows him. It’s hard to blame Peter. His life was unmistakably in danger and he was undoubtedly – and understandably – afraid.
Fear is a debilitating thing. It can make you forgo previous commitments, break promises, take the easy way forward, choose what you know is wrong in order to avoid ridicule or danger, and threaten to overwhelm you so that you forget even who you are. And sometimes, it can urge you to choose the comfort of a warm fire and convenience of a small lie rather than stand for the truth you confessed.
Prayer: Dear God, grant us courage in the face of fear that we may hold onto our confession of faith in word and deed. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Fear is a debilitating thing…” Well-stated! With your permission I will quote your paragraph within my Meditation on Psalm 23:2 tomorrow as I lead Worship and distribute Holy Communion hospital-wide.