Soul Pancake – one of my all time favorite websites – has launched a new video series, this one on success: what we mean by it, where we see it, how we define it. This last question – how do you define success? – is the topic of the first video they’ve posted. It’s all of 2 and a half minutes and beyond being quite fun – as so many Soul Pancake endeavors are (think “Kid President”!) – it’s a great question for each of us to ask ourselves. Because our definition of success – whether we’ve articulated it consciously or not – shapes decisions about how we spend our time, who we spend our time with, what we’re...

What is the difference between love and acceptance? Between disease and personality? Between difference and identity? Andrew Solomon takes up these and other questions in this moving talk on the challenges that face parents of extraordinary children – extraordinarily different, bright, difficult, and more. But as you listen, you’ll realize he is speaking about all parents, all whose destiny is held captive by the fate and fortunes of their children. Based on the research and interviews he conducted for this remarkable book Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity, Solomon challenges us to reconsider the ideals we...

“You can do this yourself.” These were the five words I most disliked hearing from my parents. Oh, I know, you can probably think of five worse words to hear. But these words meant that something I had asked them to do for me got turned around into something I had to do for myself. And that, obviously, wasn’t what I wanted. If I had wanted to do it myself, I wouldn’t have asked them to do it in the first place! Like calling a coach to ask why I wasn’t playing as much as I thought I should be. Or settling an argument with a sibling. Or asking someone for a job. The very point of my asking is that these were things that...

I have this theory, maybe you agree: a lot of our relationships – at home, work, school, and more – would improve, and a lot more would be accomplished, and a lot less misunderstanding would occur, and a lot more people would feel valued… if we spent more time listening to each other and less time talking. And not just passive listening where we nod our heads while thinking of what we will say next, but active, interested listening where we believe – and more importantly act – as if what the person speaking with us is saying really matters and that, by extension, that person really matters. If you agree –...

Christians know a secret about generosity. Generosity is not the fruit of success or happiness or security. It is, instead, the source of all these things. Actually, it’s not only Christians who know this. Seth Godin, one of my favorite thinkers, puts it this way: Here’s conventional wisdom: Success makes you happy. Happiness permits you to be generous. In fact, it actually works like this: Generosity makes you happy. Happy people are more likely to be successful. Christians have sometimes named the “conventional” wisdom Godin talks about “worldly” wisdom, as it expresses the sensibilities that governs the world rather than...

The other day I came across this micro-post by Seth Godin, one of my favorite bloggers: Fast, easy, guaranteed. Pick none. That’s the work worth doing. Just ten words that say an incredible amount. He’s playing off, of course, the numerous ways and places that phrase – fast, easy, guaranteed – is used in the world of marketing. To talk about delivery service, or order fulfillment, or completing projects, or whatever. It’s become nearly ubiquitous as a desirable attribute that is intended to grab our attention and secure our business. But immediately after reminding us of this commonplace, Seth – no I don’t know him, but it...